Thirty Reasons I HATE Stinkbugs

I think we have more stinkbugs than anyone else on earth.  They flock to our house, they burrow into the crevices of the logs and creep into every cranny.  I hate them.  They just showed up a couple of years ago, and each year is worse than the one before.  No exaggeration - I probably suck up an average of 50 a day into the vacuum cleaner.  Disgusting.  We've had Terminex out numerous times and there is nothing they can do for them that wouldn't be toxic to humans too.  So until scientists perfect the stinkbug pheremone trap that is in progress, we just have to deal.  I've whined blogged about how much I hate them before, but it's been a while, so I'd say I'm overdue for a big I HATE STINKBUGS post.

So I have written a hate list.  Thirty reasons I despise stinkbugs (I'm sure I could think of 100 reasons if I really tried, but I don't want to waste that much time on these invasional pests).

1.  They get inside my blow dryer, then I try to dry my wet, clean hair, and it smells like stinkbugs.

2.  They love to get on a damp toothbrush.  So gross.

3.  They don't succumb to the winter.  They just hibernate.

4.  They fly. 

5.  They stink.

6.  You flick them and they come straight back to you like a boomerang.

7.  They're ugly.  Butt ugly. 

8.  They fly on me when I'm trying to read.

9.  Bug sprays don't kill them.

10.  They have armor.  They're like the knights of the bug world.  Indestructable.

11.  Terminex can't kill them, but they'll charge you $100 to come out and tell you that.

12.  They crunch when you step on them.

13.  They'll ride around on your back without you knowing it.  Lazy buggers.

14.  They're bodies are hard to suck up in the regular vacuum - you have to use the hose attachment.

15.  I hate the sound of them flying overhead.

16.  I hate the sound of them landing right next to me.

17.  I'll go get a bag from the closet and find 40 stinkbugs underneath it in hibernation.

18.  I hate the fall days when they completely swarm our house, looking for a place to hide.

19.  They get around the toilet rim for water.

20.  They leave their stink stains on walls, counters, clothing.

21.  I hate seeing them swarming our light fixtures.

22.  I hate seeing a swarm of them on our windows.

23.  I hate that they seem to like our house so much.  Go away!

24.  I live in fear that they're going to fly into dinner one night when I'm cooking.

25.  They will get on the rim of a glass of water you leave out.

26.  They fly on the tv or any other light source.

27.  They get in the shower, on my soap and scrunchee.

28.  They stink on the twins, because the twins will sometimes play with them.

29.  They are breeding like mad - worse than rabbits for sure.

30.  They outnumber us.  Four million to five.

SAVE ME!!!!